After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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