I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
