Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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