btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
