nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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