Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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