I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
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Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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