Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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