I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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