Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
