it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
