how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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