did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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