Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
