you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I want a musical about memes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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