I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
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Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
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I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt