covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
