During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
