You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i don't like sucking hair
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
