Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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