I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
