Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
