We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
