I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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