who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize