thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
