and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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