If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His hands were made for my vagina.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
