You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
