i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
