I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
