I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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