and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
