At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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