Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
