2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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