So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
