There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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