Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
