Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
