well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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