Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
