The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
