Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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