So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How external is "for external use only"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
