drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
