I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
