i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
