You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
