I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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