i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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