a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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