Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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