It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks