Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize