i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
