I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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