Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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