very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
