you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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