my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
