I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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