I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
