She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
