Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
